Goldlust's
Vancouver Adventures, Part I 
Dear
reader,
This
post is the first of seven, which will each deal with one day
of my visit in Vancouver, British Columbia, in Canada. I have
decided that writing about the entire week in one post would
mean an enormously large post and there will be plenty to comment
on each of the days, so therefore 7 posts.
Since
this is the first post it will cover the first day in Vancouver
as well as my journey from home to YVR (Vancouver Airport).
20th
of February, Tuesday
At 6am I was awakened
by the alarm clock. Not pleasant but I guess it rarely is. I felt
awful. I had made the terrible mistake of staying up all night before,
and even though I checked in early going to bed at around 9pm, I
was still suffering from lack of sleep.
Adding to this that
my little sister was down with the flu and probably already had
affected me as well; I did in fact feel ill. I was coughing quite
badly, actually.
I managed to get up
and contemplate over my misery.
At 6:38am the train
would leave the station. My mother kissed me goodbye, and went back
to bed. It is a 5 minutes walk to the station from my home. I left
at a little past 6:30am.
I missed the train.
It must have left just
a minute before I got to the station.
I guess when one thinks
the situation cannot get any worse, it does.
A taxi would take 10-15
minutes to get to the station (and be quite expensive, contrary
to me taking the train, since a rail ticket was included on the
plane ticket). I decided that I might as well wait for the next
train and face the fact that I might actually miss my connecting
flight to Frankfurt.
The plane was due to
leave at 9:55.
At 9:35, five minutes
late, my second train came to a hold at Copenhagen Airport, CPH.
I ran to check in, found a business check-in line with just one
person in front of me. I flashed EuroBonus Silver card at the woman
and told her I was late due to public transportation (always blame
public transportation when you are late). She picked the phone,
called the gate, and told the gate agent answering, "I've got
another one for you." The gate agent said something, and the
check-in woman answered, "Well, apparently the bus was late
or something, he got here from somewhere..."
She told me that I was
just in time for it to be "legal." I got my boarding pass
and was told to go directly to the gate. This I did, in fact I ran
some of the way since at the last departure information screen I
saw the status for the flight had changed from "Boarding"
to "GateClosing." I had to take both bags with me, and
check one of them in at the gate. Since I felt sick and was very
dry in my throat the running did not improve my condition. I reached
the gate, handed the one bag to a man there and told him that I
was told to check it in at the gate, there was actually a handwritten
baggage check on the bag and he said, "Yes, it's fine, perfect!"
I boarded immediately. Last person on board.
Breakfast was served
a little late in the flight but I still had time enough to eat.
The "Low Fat" meal that I had ordered was actually quite
good - so no complains there. I even got half a liter of skim milk,
and although I do not really even like skim milk this tasted okay.
I touched down in FRA
about one and a half-hour after take-off.
I went to transit check-in
and approached the counter that said "Air Canada / Lufthansa
Check-In." The lady there told me that I should check-in at
the gate at once. I headed for the gate and found it completely
empty. Wonderful it was. So much for that lady's knowledge.
Feeling still pretty
sick I headed off to find the Diners Club VIP Lounge since that's
the only lounge in FRA I have access to. I had to look the description
of the location up at least three times in my Diners Club Lounge
Directory and still I was unable to find it.
I asked several people
who were unable to tell me anything useful about where the lounge
might be. I headed back through passport control and found the Lufthansa
Senator lounge. The lady there gave me directions approximately
as good as when told that "New York is easy to find, it is
in the United States." I went to an information desk and got
another very bad description of the directions to the lounge.
As I went back through
passport control I noticed that it was the same German passport
officer sitting there so I gave him a smile (as in "sorry to
bother you again") flashed my passport and went through. Apparently
I went through too fast. He made a large "donk" sound
on the door to his little booth and came out saying "Zurück"
pointing back, in a very angry voice as if I had just committed
a capital offense and was some kind of severe threat against the
security of the state.
I was as unpleased as
he was. Three German ladies who had all given me useless information,
and now a nazi, which was not only that but also (what we in Danish
call) a major "Pope of the Desk" (meaning that he liked
to misuse what little power he had).
I should, of course,
have given him a Nazi Salute and screamed "Heil!" (Or
even "Zu Befehl," which was the "Yes, sir!"
of the SS) - but I did not, the thought of doing so did not occur
to me until later after the incident. Actually, I guess it was a
good thing that I did not, there is probably (as I guess there ought
to be) some law against doing that in Germany. Although one way
of getting away with it could have been to first take out the one
arm, then pretty fast the other and then bending you knees as in
a fitness exercise. This of course would also be kind of out of
place - but still, you could argue that you were simply doing an
exercise.
What I actually did
was going back in line red-faced. About 10 seconds later I approached
the officer next to the MEGA NAZI, and he mumbled something in German.
In spite of the fact that I got an A in German (B-level) in school
I was unable to understand, so I used the fail-safe, "I'm not
that good at German." He said something like, "I see"
and handed me my passport. I guess I could have told him my opinion
on his colleague but I did not.
Suffice it to say that
I was now, after three incompetent ladies and this, this, this bastard,
I was pretty anti-German - something I have never been before. After
another going through passport control (must have been the 3rd or
4th time at least) I found another lady at the information desk
and this time I kept "nagging" her until she gave directions
that I could understand. We all know what competent people our airport
tax are going to, well, whatever.
I finally found the
Diners Club VIP Lounge, which really did not seem very VIP. First
of all, it was stacked away among some airport offices. Secondly,
it was very small! Not at all like the Servisair lounge Diners Club
has an agreement with at CPH. Anyway, there was not even a selfserve
bar - but a lady brought me a coke. I got some water as well upon
request. At least they had a computer with access to The Internet,
which was free to use. I sent an email, read some, and left.
Looking at the departure
information screen I noticed that the plane was now leaving from
an entirely different gate. Now I had to pass security and passport
control at another place in the airport. I arrived at the gate,
and noticed that pre-boarding had already begun. I headed for the
desk and told the LH agent (which was actually the check in manager,
I noticed) that I had been told to get my boarding pass here. She
mumbled something in surprise but then went ahead and got me a boarding
pass for a pretty nice window seat - my request for an emergency
exit seat was answered with a pretty obvious smile and a semi-annoyed,
"they are all gone." That figures, if only the woman at
the transit check-in would have given me a boarding pass. Well.
Boarding began, and
I must say, I was very happy to leave FRA, which by all means is
the most puzzling, weird, unorganized, and ugly airport I have ever
been to. The flight it self was somewhat without incident, apart
from:
1) A South African couple
in front of me with a very annoying and SCREAMING baby. They were
at the first seats in coach and the woman thought it was alright
to take her socks off and rest her bare feet in an height precisely
the same as my head - what a great sight I had, not! Also she thought
spraying deodorant around was great for everyone - well with the
cabin air recycling system I beg to differ.
2) LH had screwed up
my meals so they served Low-Calorie instead of Low-Cholesterol.
Of course I had only ordered a special meal to try something new
but still: bad service.
3) A very, very bad
service from the LH crew. I had a terrible headache so I wanted
to ask a FA for a pill. I pushed the FA call button and waited.
About 10 minutes after a FA quickly came by, turned the button light
OFF and went on down the aisle before I had a chance to peep! Incredible!
I pushed the button again, waited 20 MINUTES! Then finally and FA
came and asked if there was anything I needed.
Touchdown at Vancouver
was a relief since I had hardly been able to sleep at all during
the 10-hour flight.
About 10 yards after
the plane exit there was a female immigration officer, she checking
to see that everyone had a passport. I had never experienced such
a procedure before. I discovered that there were long lines for
passport control everywhere so I just picked one of them. I would
guess I waited at least 10 minutes in line - at least the airport
was pretty beautiful.
After approaching the
counter and handing my passport and customs form to another female
immigration officer there, she began asking A LOT of questions.
Her: "Why are you
coming to Canada?"
Me: "I'm a tourist"
Her: "Where are you going to stay?"
Me: "At different hotels, I'm staying at the Sheraton Wall
Centre tonight."
Her: "What are you going to do while you are here?"
Me: "Just seeing the sights."
It went on further (also
asking me how many bags I had, asking to see my return ticket and
more and more), and ended with her telling me that it was "a
little strange" for me to be travelling like this "alone."
I then told her that the X-files television series was filmed in
Vancouver and while she said, "Yes" she finally cracked
a smile. I guess telling her that I was the Director of the Danish
X-files Association (which was actually true) helped as well. She
stamped my passport.
I thought I was in the
all clear but NO WAY. After picking up my one checked bag I headed
for the exit but was waved over by another officer standing in the
middle of the baggage claim area. If I thought the first officer
had been inquisitive then that was nothing compared to this one.
He asked so much that was non-of his business that it was quite
amazing that I managed to play along with a smile. However, since
I had no visa I would have had no way to appeal a decision to refuse
me entry, and I just did not want to risk being denied entry due
to personal pride. Still, I might consider writing a letter of protest
to the Canadian Embassy (I MIGHT - I do not really think I want
to waste my time doing so). Those questions were flat out an attack
on my personal integrity - it is not the officers business what
my salary is, what kind of job I have and how often I have been
away from Europe - it would be I was from Botswana - but I am from
Denmark.
He even asked me how
much my salary from last year in Swedish Crowns was in Dutch Crowns.
I guess my face told him that I had never heard of Dutch Crowns
(clue: because there are no such thing - they have Gylden in the
Netherlands) - he somewhat quickly changed that to "Oh, I mean
Danish Crowns." Duh.
I found the Airporter
(bus to several hotels from YVR) paid a return fare and got on.
Arrived at the Sheraton Wall Centre at about 4 o'clock.
The Sheraton Wall Centre
was extremely nice. Very courteous service. I got the upgrade to
a sweet which was included in my rate (159C$) and found it all very
nice. Went for a walk and bought some coke, nuts with chocolate
and a slice of pizza (which had far too much cheese on it). I saw
some people washing car windows at some traffic lights - I had only
before seen that on TV so that was kind of fun (homeless people
are rare in Denmark).
I went to bed early.
End
of Part 1.
Read
in Part 2 how Goldlust goes hunting for the book that will help
him accomplish one of his goals sees a funny "open hours"-sign
and leaves downtown.
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